Text to Speech for Custom Voice Prompts

SImpliSafe needs to do a firmware update that will incorporate a text to speech editor that will allow us to customize the alerts generated by the base station.
For example, when I open my front door, the base station will give audible alert "Front Door Entry Sensor".  What if I want it to say "Welcome Home, Master of the Known Universe!" To take it a step further, we could compile a small library of phrases the would be randomly selected, and be assigned to specific sensors.
If your teenage kid tries to slip out the bedroom window, "Stop That Kid, He's Escaping!"
You get the idea. While it CAN be serious business, it doesn't always HAVE to be!!!

Best Regards!