‎Pending draft Press Release on new technology!! (April Fools 2022!) | SimpliSafe Support Home
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Monday, March 28th, 2022 6:41 PM

Pending draft Press Release on new technology!! (April Fools 2022!)

After an extensive Google search effort, I found a website that contained “in progress” press releases for several companies, including SimpliSafe. Should be noted they were all in draft form, but this one caught my eye in particular. Looks very exciting with insight on their product roadmap! See below and share what you think!

For Immediate Release:  March xx 2022 


SimpliSafe Extends Breadth of Protection with New Biometric Protocol

BOSTON, March xx, 2022 /PRMENWS/ -- SimpliSafe®, maker of award-winning security systems, today announced SimpliSafe Biometrics (SSB) a new biometric protocol to provide an exclusive, world leading service to protect their current and future product offerings. 

“Unique in structure and process, our customers will applaud the ease and sensitivity to securing their home and business systems”, stated Christian Cerda, SimpliSafe CEO. Mr. Cerda continued that after over three years of research and development, the product group “has delivered the highest level of security possible” to the DYI security market segment.

 “While our overall product development took over three years, consisting of a team of over 43 resources and extensive use of our AI engine LCARS, the time invested in terms of human and financial capital yielded results beyond what we were targeting” exclaimed Rahul Subramany, Senior Director of Management.

Mr. Douglas Woodard, Chief Customer Experience Officer commented that “SSB” will provide customers exemplary security verification performance while eliminating the need to remember cumbersome 4-digit pins, code words and other hard to use tools to arm and disarm their systems. Additionally, Mr. Woodard highlighted easier support and faster problem resolution for the ever-growing SS support organization.  “Leveraging this new cutting-edge technology will result in fewer support incidents, higher satisfaction and lower costs for customers and SS associates alike,” said Mr. Woodard.

The new service is anticipated to launch April 1st and a full video presentation will be provided at the company’s user support website,  www.sysmex.com/forum . 

An advanced protocol such as this is predicated on the customer providing a biometric sample by licking the screen of the keypad, which in turn, is digitized and transmitted to the base and sent to SimpliSafe’s servers for secure storage, available for future use by the system owner to match their DNA.

And, of course, Happy April Fool’s Day a bit early!  Make it a good one!

72 Messages

2 years ago

Haha, of course!

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